My brief blogging hiatus (noted or not) was due to my recent duties as Mother of the Bride. Yael and Paul took their longstanding relationship to a new level when they married recently. The ceremony was at our apartment, and was truly a family affair. There were just thirty guests, and as the critical moments arrived, my sister-in-law Marilyn was getting the final wrinkles out of the wedding dress, while daughter-in-law Miriam put the final touches on the bouquets and boutonnieres. Noa, as bridesmaid, did just about everything . Phil played the processional, the Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind” which he had to transcribe, since he couldn’t find sheet music of the right version. Abby and Elena entered, as flower girls (very serious), then Yael came to the chuppah. The chuppah was held by Paul’s brother and two nieces, and by Kwame, Noa’s boyfriend. David, Yael’s brother, performed the ceremony. Paul’s mother, Maria, and I, lit candles. After the wineglass was definitively smashed, we all yelled “Mazal tov” and went up to the roof for pictures.
Then off to Beauty and Essex, on the Lower East Side, for a brunch with forty additional friends and family.
I find it interesting how wedding often seem to be all about the bride, in their current formulations. And Bridezilla reigns! But in the planning and execution of their wedding, intentionally or not, Yael and Paul affirmed my deep belief that the wedding is not about the couple, so much as it is about the larger society. We use weddings (and funerals as well), as times to be together, to affirm the importance of individuals, but also the relevance of the larger group. We were shocked that 11 friends and family in California (most of whom we did not expect could come), were able to join us. That said so much!
And everything went so well that there are no stories to tell, except the happy ones of being with the people we loved and being grateful for the efforts they made to be with us.
Mazal tov to all!